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July26, 2007 - Dona Mondragon of Débu Inc. on successfully preparing your 8-13 year-old daughter for the onset of puberty and menstruation.
IN THE NEWS
Portland Family Magazine
June, 2007
Health: Her First Period By Dona Mondragon
President/Founder of Débu Inc.
Menstruation, Ready Or Not...
Today’s girls have more access to information than their mothers and grandmothers. Gone are the days when topics such as menstruation were taboo. For the most part, girls are told what a period is, and that they will have one. If parents haven’t yet told them, they will most likely have heard it from peers. The question then becomes, “Are we doing enough to support them during this inevitable transition?” The truth is that girls need more than just being told about the “mechanics” of menstruation. They need prolonged support, strength and guidance from parents or valued adults while they navigate the emotional waters of puberty.
Self Esteem & Setting Boundaries:
Most parents strive to have daughters exit puberty with healthy self esteem. Although this sounds easy, we know it isn’t. Many factors affect a young girl’s self-esteem, thankfully there are things you can do to bolster it. One important way is to help her learn how to set personal boundaries. By developing a strong, defined sense of herself, and being comfortable with expressing what’s okay for her and what isn’t, she’ll be much safer. An opportunity to support boundary setting occurs during the onset of menstruation. Make sure you ask your daughter or the young girl in your life if she wants anyone to know that she’s started her first period. This is highly personal information and she should be in charge of who is told and how they’re told.
Celebrate:
The idea of celebrating menstruation may seem like a foreign concept. Granted, menstruation is a mixed bag. But it’s a natural part of life, of development, and of becoming a young woman. Explore with your daughter the positive aspects of being a woman. Allow her to decide if, and how, she wants to celebrate. Be creative. There are numerous fun and special ways to mark this milestone in your daughter’s life. If she chooses not to celebrate, acknowledge her wishes but ask her if she would mind you doing something simple such as fixing her favorite meal or giving her some flowers.
A Note To Dads:
It’s important to acknowledge that Dads have a role too. Some daughters choose to, or only have the option of, looking to fathers for support. Fathers teach daughters to be fearless and strong, but they also provide comfort and security. Single fathers with girls entering puberty should know that although you can provide many things for you daughter, she will still need to connect with an adult female during her transition into womanhood. If her mother’s not available, then seek support from your own mother, sisters, girlfriends, female friends, or even your daughter’s school nurse or counselor. For the support you might need, perhaps you can talk to a male friend who has gone through this experience with his daughter.
How Much Of Your Own Experience Should You Share?
Ask yourself how much of what you share will she benefit from? Every woman is unique and no two-menstruation experiences will be the same. Regardless what your personal experience has been it’s suggested that you withhold sharing negative details that may make her feel defeated before she ever gets to determine what her own experience will be.
Know the facts:
- Girls can start periods as young as 8 years old.
- The average age girls begin menstruating is 12.
- Puberty lasts on average 3 – 5 years.
- Girls are 2 times more likely than boys to become depressed during puberty.
- Girls who experience untreated or unattended depression during puberty are at a higher risk for low self-esteem, becoming targets for physical or sexual abusers, more likely to abuse drugs or alcohol, and have a higher incidence of teen pregnancy.
Signs to watch for:
Since puberty naturally prompts behavioral changes, diligently watch for signs of depression. If she exhibits any of the following, for more than two weeks, seek professional advice:
- Problems getting along with her peers.
- Poor grades.
- Poor appetite.
- Lack of interest in caring for her appearance.
- Excessive sleeping.
- A loss of interest in things she normally loves.
- Becoming withdrawn.
- Crying often.
Thinking and talking about menstruation can be awkward for some. But this important dialog is meant to let your daughter know that she is loved, respected and supported and that what she is going through is a natural part of human development.
Dona Mondragon, Founder and President of Débu Inc. is the inventor, author & illustrator of Débu’s product line. “My greatest desire is that every girl gains strength and confidence to set boundaries that will protect and nurture her throughout her life. Our company promotes the celebration of womanhood and of our valuable place as women in the world. We reserve the right to be whomever we choose, in safety, harmony and peace.”
For more information visit www.debuinc.com.
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